Say You Love Me Read online

  I cringed at the look in his eyes. “Sara guilted me into keeping her.”

  He jumped to his feet. “Fuck.”

  I toyed with my fingers, unable to hold his gaze. “I’m sorry. The woman has no home. Her son just died. I told Sara I’d give her two more weeks. After that, she’s gone.”

  He threw up his hands. “She looks at me like I’m the boogie man.”

  I chewed my lip, embarrassment flushing my cheeks. “Probably because she heard us having sex last night.”

  “How do you know?” He kicked his boots aside and paced.

  I so didn’t want to relive that awkward conversation with Irma. “She told me.”

  “She told you?” He stopped mid-stride, frowning down at me. “What did she say?”

  I shrugged, studying the chipped pink polish on my toes. “Something about us needing to keep our doors shut.” No need to tell him about the other thing she’d said, something about how it was a sin to call out the Lord’s name during fornication.

  “Fuck, Savannah. Did you tell her it’s your goddamned house, and if she doesn’t like it, she can get the hell out?”

  “No.” I smoothed a hand down my jeans. “I was so shocked, I didn’t know what to say.”

  If his eyes had been lasers, they would have burned holes through my skull. “She’s walking all over you.”

  “I know that.” I didn’t know who I hated more at the moment, Cesar for being right or me for being wrong.

  He walked up to my chair, planted his hands on the armrests, and leaned over me. “So is Sara.”

  What the hell? Why would he say that?

  I pushed him away, getting to my feet. “Sara raised me.” Sara had been my role model, my friend, my mother. Sara wouldn’t use me, would she?

  “That doesn’t give her the right to force this woman on you.”

  “What was I supposed to do?” I turned my back on him, grabbing a bottle of perfume off the dresser, absently twisting the cap. “She was still upset over what your brothers did.”

  “What my brothers did?” He stormed up behind me. His reflection in the mirror reminding me of a charging bull. “What about Ariana?”

  I turned to him. I hadn’t been looking forward to telling Cesar what Ariana had told me, but I couldn’t hide it from him any longer. “Ariana let Sara think they took advantage of her.”

  He gaped at me, his tanned skin turning a deep crimson. “She propositioned them! She went home and got the handcuffs and the swing!”

  I forced a calmness into my voice I didn’t feel. “I know that.”

  He crossed his arms, glowering at me like this was somehow all my fault. “Then tell Sara that.”

  Tears threatened at the backs of my eyes, and it took all of my willpower to hold them back. “I can’t. It would kill her.”

  Did Cesar realize what he was asking of me? To break the heart of the woman who’d raised me. Besides, it was Ariana’s lie, and she needed to be the one to come clean.

  “She probably thinks I’m taking advantage of you, too?” He tapped the rough stubble on his chin, warily eyeing me. “True?”

  Those tears were getting thicker, and I didn’t think I could hold them back much longer. Between Cesar, Ariana, Irma, Sara, and Angus expecting something different from me, all telling me what to do, I felt like I was being crushed on all sides, making it hard to speak, much less breathe.

  I leaned against the dresser for support, clutching the smooth wood like a lifeline. “She doesn’t want you at the wedding, but Ariana said she’d set her straight.”

  “Like hell she will.”

  “Cesar,” I pleaded, wishing he would understand the pressure I was under. “Please don’t be angry.”

  “Either you fire that woman tomorrow morning, or I will.” He wagged a finger at me as if I was Nacho, and he’d just caught me humping his favorite pillow.

  “Cesar, two weeks is all I’m asking.”

  “Fine.” He walked stiffly back to the bed, sat down, and grabbed his boots.

  My heart stuck in my throat, and though I feared Cesar was leaving me, I didn’t want to acknowledge it. “What are you doing?”

  He roughly shoved on a boot. “I’m not staying here with that woman.”

  Fear paralyzed my limbs. I stared at him for a long moment, unable to move. Finally, I summoned the courage to speak. “Cesar, please don’t go.”

  He jammed on the other boot and walked across the room. “I can’t get a beer out of the fridge without her scowling at me,” he said from inside his closet. “I work hard and deserve to relax when I get home. I can’t live like this, Savannah.”

  When he reappeared he was carrying a duffel bag. He walked up to me, then nudged me aside. I moved, watching helplessly as he shoved underwear and socks in the bag.

  Tears cascaded freely down my face. Cesar was leaving me. After he’d told me he loved me, and after I’d told him I loved him, he was going to pack up and go. “What do you want me to do?”

  He snatched my phone off the dresser, handing it to me. “Call Sara. Tell her the truth about her daughter, about my brothers, and then get rid of that woman.”

  I stared at the phone, wiping my watery eyes with the back of my hand. “I already promised I’d keep her for two weeks.”

  Time seemed to slow to an agonizing crawl as he kissed me on the cheek, his lips lingering for too long. “I’ll be back in two weeks,” he whispered.

  What? He was seriously walking out on me over a housekeeper? “Please don’t do this.” I hated the sound of desperation in my voice, like I was his little puppy begging for attention.

  He kissed my forehead. “I’ll leave Nacho here, okay?”

  I fought the urge to clutch his collar and collapse into his arms. “But I want you.”

  He cupped my cheek in his hand, kissing the tip of my nose. “I love you, but I can’t do anything when you refuse to stand up for yourself. This is all I know to do.”

  All he knew to do? How about standing by the girl he supposedly loved, realizing the difficult situation she’d been put in by her friends and family? How about being a man and comforting me instead of walking away?

  * * *

  Cesar

  Fuck, Cesar. Why did you walk away?

  Fuck was right. I was an idiot. An estupido.

  As I pulled into the parking lot at my complex, I clutched the truck’s steering wheel so hard, the leather crackled in my grip.

  You walked out on Savannah. You made her cry.

  I banged my head against the wheel. I was the world’s biggest pendejo.

  She left you no choice, Cesar. She allowed those people to take advantage of you both.

  And she expected me to go along with it, putting up with Irma for two more weeks. That woman was on Savannah’s payroll and should have been respectful. Instead, she was judgmental and pushy. If she’d been my employee, I would’ve fired her the first day.

  But Savannah hasn’t had experience dealing with employees. She’s always worked for others. My papí taught me how to manage his businesses when I was still in high school.

  Sara knew exactly how to work Savannah with that story about Irma’s son. At the risk of sounding like a total ass, we had no idea if Irma was telling the truth. Maybe her son had thrown out the mom because she was so fucking annoying. That made me laugh, but only for a moment.

  It was a dick move, walking out on my girlfriend. I should’ve waited until morning and fired Irma myself. But Irma was Savannah’s employee. She had to be the one to do it. Besides, I didn’t need to give Angus and Sara one more reason to hate me.

  Why’d I have to walk out on her? Somewhere deep inside, I suspected I knew the answer. I walked out because I was scared. I was terrified she’d leave me soon, anyway. That two-week window was my out. If, after two weeks apart, she still wanted me back, then I knew she was truly committed. If not, then I’d broken it off first.

  You would hurt her to save face? You are a pendejo!

  I�
��d let my paranoia consume me and walked out on the best girl I’d ever known. She’d confessed her love for me, trusted me to take our lovemaking to the next level, and I’d left her. She’d probably cry the rest of the night.

  I smacked myself, groaning into my palm. What was she going to tell Jake in the morning when he didn’t see me at breakfast? The poor kid had been through so much of his mother’s drama. He didn’t need anymore. I’d really screwed things up this time.

  Fuck.

  Chapter Nine

  Savannah

  “Auntie, you need to take me to school.”

  I rolled over with a groan, looking into my nephew’s wide eyes. When I saw the sunlight streaming through the curtains, I realized I’d overslept. “What? Oh, I’m sorry, Jake. I slept in.” Shit. I’d always woken up to Cesar’s alarm.

  Jake frowned. “Why are your eyes all puffy?”

  I pulled myself up to a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. The pain in my head was so intense, it felt like a little man in my skull was trying to burn the backs of my eyes with hot pokers. I coughed into my fist. My throat felt raw and itchy. My all-night cry fest had taken its toll.

  I hadn’t fallen asleep until around three. I understood why Cesar was angry, but did he have to leave? Then I thought of Irma, and my stomach soured. How could I blame Cesar? As I looked into my nephew’s worried face, I realized Cesar leaving affected more than just me. Jake adored Cesar.

  Crud.

  I tried to clear my throat, but something was still wedged deep inside, like I’d swallowed a wad of sandpaper. “Cesar left last night.”

  “What?” The poor little guy fell on top of the bed, clutching my hand as his lower lip trembled.

  I let out a shaky breath, summoning the strength to soothe him. “He said he’ll be back after Irma leaves.” I coughed into my fist again. “He doesn’t like the looks she gives him.” Major understatement.

  “I don’t either, Auntie.” He folded his arms, scrunching his face up tight, his cheeks flushing a deep crimson. “When is she leaving? I want Cesar back.”

  This was so hard. “Sara wants me to keep her for two weeks.”

  “No, Auntie.” His eyes watered, several tears slipping down his cheeks. “What if it’s too long, and Cesar doesn’t come back?”

  Damn, Cesar. It was bad enough what he’d put me through, but couldn’t he have thought of Jake before he left?

  Maybe you should have thought of Jake and Cesar and fired Irma.

  I did my best to ignore the nagging voice in my brain, even though I suspected my subconscious was right. “He’ll come back,” I said, forcing a note of confidence into my scratchy voice.

  Truthfully, I feared Cesar would change his mind and stay gone. That he’d find a girlfriend with a backbone, someone who could stand up to her crazy friends and family. All night my emotions had warred with each other, swirling around my mind like a tornado. One minute I would tell myself I was overreacting, that Cesar loved me too much to walk away. The next, dark thoughts took over. If he loved me, why had he walked away?

  Jake hiccupped, wiping his dripping nose with the back of one hand. “W-what if he finds another girlfriend?”

  “He’s not going to find another girlfriend.” I leaned over the bed, pulling several tissues out of the nearly empty box and thrusting them into Jake’s hands.

  “Auntie, please make Irma go.” He smeared snot and tears all over his face. “I miss Cesar.”

  Well, crap. How could I hold Jake’s cracked heart together, when mine was shattered? I forced a smile, pretending my world hadn’t just imploded. The kid was smart, though, and I feared he’d see through my ruse.

  I fought to clear my throat again. Had all that crying really made my throat raw or was I catching a cold? I thought back to my yoga class the other night, and that hacking woman beside me.

  “Jake, calm down,” I said. “I will fix this, okay?” At least I hoped so.

  He sniffled. “Okay.”

  Watching the sweet child’s heart break was more than I could bear. “Come here, sweetheart.” I opened my arms, holding him while he sobbed into my chest. I didn’t care that I was being slimed. Jake’s happiness was worth more than my discomfort. If only Cesar had been as concerned for our happiness before storming off.

  Damn you, Cesar, for leaving, and damn you, Savannah, for letting him go.

  * * *

  I didn’t have time for a shower, so I only ran a brush through my hair, wincing as the pain in my head intensified with each stroke. The more I moved around, the more my throat seemed to worsen. I feared I really was coming down with something.

  No gym or volunteering at the animal rescue for me today. As soon as I dropped off Jake, I was coming home and going straight to bed. I slipped on jeans, a T-shirt, and flip-flops, grabbed my phone and purse, and rushed downstairs. Jake was sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking the last of his orange juice, an empty, syrupy plate in front of him. Irma was humming softly while flipping pancakes on the griddle.

  She gave me a pointed look before handing me a cup of coffee. “You’re up late.”

  “I didn’t sleep well.” I took a hesitant sip, for fear she’d spiked the coffee with holy water. Mmm. It was just the way like I liked it, loaded with creamer and sugar, and it helped to soothe my sore throat.

  “Are you sick?” she asked.

  “Maybe.” I still hung onto the hope that my scratchy throat and migraine were temporary side effects from crying.

  That’s all it is, Savannah. It has to be. The custody hearing is tomorrow. You can’t get sick now. Jake needs you.

  Unless, of course, being a lovestruck fool was a sickness. I wasn’t sure there was a cure for stupidly giving my heart to a man, only to have him bail on me the next day over a housekeeper.

  Irma’s stern gaze softened as she circled the island and put a hand on my forehead. “You’re burning up.”

  I was? I felt my head. It was a little hot. Hopefully, my temperature would return to normal after a nap.

  “I need to get going.” I took a few more gulps of coffee before setting the cup on the counter, but this time, instead of soothing my throat, the hot liquid burned, and I nearly wretched it back up. I grabbed a paper towel and coughed into it, not pleased when I saw green stuff.

  Shit. I’m sick.

  “Come on, Jake.” I took a step away from my nephew and moved to the door. “You’re late for school.” I sure as heck hoped I hadn’t spread this around. I’d feel terrible if Jake got sick. He’d gotten over strep throat only a few weeks ago.

  Jake grabbed his backpack off a stool and followed me to the front door.

  Irma rushed ahead of us, blocking my path. “You shouldn’t be driving in your condition.”

  I coughed again, harder this time. “I don’t have a choice.”

  She nodded at Jake, her habitually downturned lips surprisingly turning into a half smile. “Let me take him.”

  “Have you driven through Houston traffic before?” I had no idea what kind of driver this woman was. I wasn’t about to trust my nephew’s life to her.

  “No.”

  Exactly. For all I knew she was one of those old people who drove for thirty miles with her turn signal on and so slowly she was a road hazard. “I’m sorry, but I have to take him.”

  She grabbed a knit sweater off the coat rack. “I’ll come with you.”

  “Irma, it’s really not necessary.” I coughed again, this one so violent, I imagined my brains shooting out my ears.

  “Stubborn girl.” Irma crossed her arms, impatiently tapping her foot. “I’m not taking no for an answer. After you drop him off, you’re going straight to bed, and I’ll make you chicken soup and ginger tea.”

  I tried to force a smile. “You really don’t have to do all this.”

  She threw up her hands, snickering. “This is what you pay me for, niña.”

  “Okay.” Even though it was nearly summer, I grabbed a light jacket. I was gettin
g the chills. “Thanks.”

  As Irma and I followed Jake to the car, I realized my new housekeeper might not be all that bad a person. She was pushy and judgmental, but her concern for me was something I hadn’t been expecting. Maybe Cesar and I had judged her too harshly.

  My heart sank like a stone when I sat in the car and strapped my seatbelt, because I knew Cesar would not be willing to give her another chance. I only hoped he’d be willing to give me another chance.

  * * *

  By the time I got home, my throat was so sore, it hurt to swallow. I looked at my tonsils in the rearview mirror. My whole throat was inflamed. So not good.

  I put the car back in drive and went straight to my doctor. Irma sat patiently with me in the waiting room, not complaining once, though we waited for over an hour. My doctor confirmed my fears—step throat. Next time I went to yoga, I was going to give that woman a piece of my mind.

  My doctor put me on an antibiotic and said I wouldn’t be contagious after twenty-four hours, which meant I could still make the early afternoon child custody hearing the next day. At this point, that’s all that mattered. I didn’t care if I had to drag myself up the court steps, I had to be at that hearing.

  I was so sick by the time I climbed into the car, I had to let Irma drive me home. She was a little slower than I liked, but she wasn’t a bad driver. I slept most of the day, and against my better judgment, I trusted Irma to follow my GPS and get Jake from school. I was vaguely aware of hearing him running down the hall, calling the dogs when they scratched at my door, but I was too sick to check on him. It was for the best. I didn’t want to give Jake my cold.

  Irma stopped in to give me aspirin and my antibiotics. She also made me hot tea, homemade soup, and cool compresses for my forehead that she changed every few hours. I had tried to shoo her away, telling her I didn’t want her getting sick, but she refused to listen, saying she had an immune system of iron. I sure hoped so.

  As selfish as it sounded, I was glad she was here to take care of me. Despite not having a harmonious relationship, Irma was doing an outstanding job taking care of me. More than I could say for Cesar. I checked the time on my phone. Almost six o’clock. Cesar should be off work by now, yet I hadn’t had a single text or phone call. He obviously didn’t care that much about me.