Say You Love Me Read online

  I would have thought, after Savannah and I had confessed our love for each other, I would’ve been more relaxed, but taking it to the next level only upped the stakes. The further we took this relationship, the more we had to lose. I sure as hell wasn’t ready to lose her, because it was true, dammit. I loved her.

  The kid was growing on me, too. If my first child had lived, he would have been two years younger than Jake. I wondered if he would have looked like Jake, with large Spanish eyes and golden skin. I still thought about the four children I’d lost, mostly when I was alone and didn’t have Savannah and Jake occupying my time. Though I knew I’d never stop grieving for them, I’d been happier this month than I’d been in a long time.

  Jake was waiting for me in the backyard, football tucked under his arm, Nacho sitting in front of him, tail slapping the ground while he looked anxiously at Jake to throw the ball. The little mutt danced around Nacho, her high-pitched yap getting my yellow Lab even more worked up.

  We tossed the ball for almost an hour. The dogs did their best to intercept my passes, but Jake’s eye was getting better. He caught all the throws except one, and I think he deliberately missed because he felt sorry for Nacho. Jake gave the dogs treats and water, and then he and I sat by the pool and ate chips and salsa. I popped open a beer and let Jake drink a soda. Even though I knew Savannah didn’t like him having too much sugar, the kid had run it off ten times over the past hour.

  The housekeeper watched us from behind the patio doors, her lips twisting in a snarl when I opened another beer. Damn. What was her problem? Didn’t a guy deserve a few beers after a hard day’s work? And why was it her business how I lived my life, anyway?

  I knew Savannah had hired this woman as a favor to Sara, but I couldn’t live like this much longer. Though I didn’t want to upset Savannah, it was time we had a talk about Irma’s future with our family.

  * * *

  Savannah

  Two weeks ago, I’d signed up Ariana at my gym during a special friend’s promotion, and I was already regretting it. I didn’t know if she was there to stay in shape or find a new flavor of the month. We went to Monday night yoga together. I always showed up early to get a spot beneath the fan. Ariana got there early so she could make her rounds past the free weights. She was blatant in the way she stared, checking out butts and licking her lips in admiration.

  I watched her through the yoga room window, flirting with two openly gay guys and not giving a damn. Ariana was always up for a challenge. Convincing a guy to bat for the other team was a skill only the black-belt-level flirts had mastered. As I watched them whip out their phones and exchange numbers, I realized Ariana was a freaking flirting ninja. Was there no guy immune to her seductive skills?

  She walked into the studio with a big grin, a sharp contrast to the way I was feeling at the moment.

  “Hey,” she said, spreading out her mat beside mine, acting as if nothing unusual had happened this weekend.

  I didn’t try to hide my displeasure. “Did your parents ever get hold of you?” I asked, even though I knew Angus and Sara wouldn’t have left Houston without seeing Ariana.

  “Yeah.” She grimaced, her cheeks only slightly coloring. “They came over.”

  “And?”

  She averted her eyes, stacking and unstacking the blue foam blocks in front of her. “It wasn’t pretty.”

  I crossed my arms and rose to my knees. “Couldn’t have been as ugly as the scene they caused at my house.”

  “I’m sorry about that. How are Cesar’s brothers?” She bit her nails, looking up at me through thick lashes, trying her best to pull off the innocent schoolgirl look.

  I wasn’t fooled. “Their noses will mend. I doubt their hearts will, at least not Esteban’s.”

  I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Esteban again. He’d moped around the house yesterday, reminding me of the cattle dogs at the ranch whenever we separated them from the females in heat.

  She heaved a dramatic sigh. “I told him it was just one night.”

  But he’d fallen under her spell like most of the other guys she toyed with. “He wants you to call him.”

  Her eyes bulged. “He’s sweet, but no.”

  I couldn’t believe I actually felt bad for Esteban. “Ariana, you shouldn’t have slept with them.”

  “I know.” She clasped her hands together, acting as if she was describing a new puppy. “But they were so cute.”

  I threw my hands in the air, not caring that other people had started to file into the room. “Then you should have picked one.”

  “I couldn’t pick one. Besides, they were okay with it.” She frowned at a woman who set up her mat beside her before dropping her voice. “We were all consenting adults.”

  “Your parents don’t seem to think so.”

  “Oh, about them.” She twisted the frayed end of the blanket she’d rolled beneath her, unable to look me in the eyes. “They said Cesar is not allowed at the wedding, and he’s not ever invited to the ranch.”

  I jerked back. “What? That’s bullshit!” I lowered my voice when a lady behind me gasped. “Cesar had nothing to do with this.”

  She shrugged, acting as if Cesar being rejected was no big deal. “Angus said the Cruzes are all bad apples.”

  “If they’re bad apples,” I huffed, scooting away from her, “you’re the worm.”

  She made an indignant sound, as if she had a right to be offended. Luckily, the instructor dimmed the lights and started class.

  * * *

  The yoga class was a total waste. It did nothing to relax me, especially since the woman beside me kept hacking her lungs out. She was obviously sick and had no business spreading her germs around so many people. After class was over, I packed up my mat and headed for the door without a backward glance. I didn’t want to face Ariana. She clearly wasn’t sorry for what she’d put us through.

  As soon as I hit the pavement outside, the muggy evening air hit me like a lead brick. I hopped over a puddle left over from that day’s thunderstorm and navigated through the crowded parking lot to my car. I was definitely driving home with the top up and the air conditioner on.

  It was feeling more like summer. Soon Houston would be unbearably hot, as in mascara-melting-down-my-face hot, and Jake and I would be spending our days by the pool. I was looking forward to his time off from school. Jake needed a break after what he’d been through. Maybe Cesar and I could take him to the beach or even Disney World. It’s not like I couldn’t afford it. The more I thought about it, the more a Florida vacation sounded like a perfect idea. Plus we’d be far away from Irma and her perpetual scowl.

  I’d called my lawyer, and he’d reassured me my sister was bluffing about taking Jake away from me. I was anxious about the custody hearing later this week and couldn’t wait to put it behind me.

  No sooner had I reached my blue BMW than I heard Ariana calling behind me. “Savannah, wait!”

  I didn’t want to wait. I was pissed and wanted to get the hell home. I threw my gym bag into the trunk, but she blocked the driver’s door.

  “Please don’t be mad at me, please,” she begged in a prayer pose, going so far as to bend her knees until they were nearly touching the ground.

  Guess all that yoga had paid off. Or maybe it was the workouts she got in the bedroom. Ugh. I did my best to push her and Esteban riding each other in the swing out of my mind.

  I tried to sidestep around her. “I don’t think you care how much trouble you’ve caused me.”

  She rose, backing against my door so I had no way to get around her. “I do care. You’re my best friend, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slept with Cesar’s brothers. I didn’t do it to hurt you.” Her lower lip trembled, and her eyes welled with unshed tears. “I just couldn’t help myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you like a sister.”

  Oh, geez. How did I know she’d use the sister card? Probably because it’s always worked in the past. Ariana had embarrassed me more times than I ca
red to remember, and yet I always forgave her.

  I jutted a hand on my hip, attitude locked and loaded. “You ruined my plaster,” I growled. “Cesar spent all day yesterday fixing it.”

  I was suddenly reminded of Irma distressing the swing’s leather by disinfecting it with bleach. Then she’d mumbled something in Spanish while splashing it with holy water. She must have brought a gallon of that stuff. Finally, she’d dragged it into the garage. I pictured the old lady secretly trying it out when nobody was looking. That made me laugh.

  I slapped a hand over my mouth, doing my best to look cross. “A swing, Ariana? Really?”

  “Don’t knock it till you try it. I’ll be needing that swing back,” she said with a wink, obviously picking up on my lighter mood. “You and Cesar didn’t haul it up to your bedroom, did you?”

  “No!” As if I’d have sex on a swing, and if I did, I wouldn’t use Ariana’s, no matter how much it had been bleached.

  “What about the handcuffs?”

  I colored at that as memories from last night came flooding back.

  “Omigod!” She squealed. “You little slut!”

  Oh, I was the slut? I arched back, bobbing my head like a diva on steroids. “You’ve got a lot of nerve.”

  She bit her bottom lip, toying with a strap on her gym bag. “Was it fun?”

  Was it just me, or was it getting hotter? “That’s none of your business.”

  She leaned forward, dropping her voice as a couple walked past us. “Did you cuff him, or did he cuff you?”

  I bit my lip, refusing to answer.

  “Oh, he cuffed you, didn’t he?”

  Was I that obvious?

  “Good.” She wagged a finger, as if she was me, telling Jake to eat his vegetables. “You need a little spice in the bedroom, Savannah, if you want to keep your man interested.”

  “I’m spicy enough.” At least I thought I was. It’s not like I had a lot of experience at this.

  She vehemently shook her head. “No, you’re not.”

  She was really starting to get on my nerves. “How do you know?”

  She tossed her sporty ponytail, acting as if this was some sort of sex intervention. “I just know. Want me to leave the swing for a while?”

  I heaved an exasperated sigh. “Are you kidding? Irma cleans our bedroom.”

  “Irma?”

  “Our new housekeeper, your mom’s church friend,” I reminded her. I thought I’d told her about Irma last week, and if not, I was sure her mom had.

  Ariana jumped back as if I had the plague. “Oh, no. She’s a spy for my parents. You have to get rid of her.”

  “How?” I groaned. “I think we’ve already pissed off your parents enough.”

  “Listen to me.” She shrugged off her gym bag, grabbing my shoulders. “You must put your foot down. This is your life. Don’t let them control you.”

  How nice of my nosy sex therapist to remind me this was my life. “Is that what you did when they came over?” I asked, knowing full well she’d probably dodged their questions instead of confronting them.

  She looked away, cheeks flushing. “Not exactly.”

  Then it hit me. I knew exactly what she’d probably said to them. I took a step toward her, my voice an accusatory rumble. “You let them think Cesar’s brothers took advantage of you, didn’t you?”

  She stepped back, nearly tripping over her bag. “What was I supposed to do?”

  “Omigod!” I fought the urge to throttle her. “No wonder Cesar isn’t allowed at the ranch. Don’t you realize you made Cesar look bad, too?”

  She picked up her bag, casually slinging it over her shoulder. “It will all blow over.” She waved away my concern.

  I advanced, poking her chest. “No, it won’t, because they think Cesar is a bad apple, just like his brothers.”

  She pushed my hand away. “Look, I’m sorry.”

  No, she wasn’t. “Sorry doesn’t make them respect my boyfriend.”

  “So what? How long do you honestly expect to stay together? One, maybe two months?”

  “One or two months?” What the hell? When did I ever tell her my relationship with Cesar was short-term? “Ariana, I never said I was breaking up with him.”

  “Seriously?” She tilted her head, making an exasperated sound. “He’s your first fuck, your only fuck. You haven’t compared him to other guys?”

  I took a step back, feeling an uncomfortable flushing in my chest. “I’ve known plenty of other guys.”

  “You haven’t slept with any of them.”

  I leaned against my car, raking a hand down my face. “I don’t need to sleep with anyone else. I’m happy with Cesar.”

  “Savannah, there’s a whole lot of guys out there, maybe better than Cesar.” She swept a hand at the gym entrance.

  “You saying there’s something wrong with him?” Ugh. She didn’t get it. Why would I give up a good thing just to experience a few different fucks? Not only was it shallow, it was foolish.

  “I didn’t say there was anything wrong with him. I just don’t want you to settle for the first guy who creams your panties and then regret it later.”

  So she was just expecting me to dump my caring and compassionate boyfriend and troll the gym with her? Didn’t she get what I had with Cesar was more than just fucking? “Ariana, I love him.”

  Her eyes nearly popped out of her head, and she gaped at me as if I was smoking crack. “How can you even know what love is?”

  I clenched my hands, digging my nails into my palms until I broke skin. Ariana had pushed me too far, and I was tired of her bullshit. “How can you trivialize my feelings?”

  She made a face as if she’d sucked on a lemon. “Having great sex with someone doesn’t mean it’s love.”

  Well, no shit!

  “It’s not just about that.” I hated the whine that slipped into my voice, making me sound weak, defeated. Cesar deserved better.

  “Savannah.” She rolled her eyes so high, I almost expected them to get stuck in the back of her head. “You hardly know the guy. You’ve only been dating a month, and he’s already moved in.”

  I crossed my arms, widening my stance. I would not be bullied into believing I didn’t know the meaning of love. “I’ve known him longer than a month.”

  “You don’t know him well enough.” She hesitated, then flashed a sly smile. “There could be things about him you won’t like.”

  I hated that she made me pause. That she made me doubt not only Cesar but my judgment. “What things?”

  “I don’t know.” She waved. “Like maybe he’s a felon.”

  My stomach tightened into a knot. “Cesar is not a felon.”

  She arched a brow, a smug look on her face. “Have you done a background check on him?”

  “What? No!”

  “So you’re just going to blindly trust this guy?”

  I hated how she spoke to me in the same tone I used on Jake when he refused to brush his teeth or wash behind his ears. Basically, Ariana treated me as if I was a child.

  I worked hard to unclench my jaw. “What the hell is going on, Ariana? Did his brothers tell you something?”

  She broke into a wide smile. “No, but I made you second-guess your boyfriend, so obviously you don’t know him that well.”

  Oh, the bitch. She’d been toying with me the whole time. Who was this person? She certainly wasn’t the Ariana I had grown up with, the girl who’d punched out Molly Haby for calling me a rich bitch, the one who’d kept a lookout for my dad and hid me beneath her bed more times than I cared to count. Ariana was lucky she had been such a good friend to me when we were kids, or I would have ratted her out already.

  “This is ridiculous. I need to get home.” I yanked open the car door.

  She latched onto my arm before I could get in. “I only say these things because I love you.”

  Really, Ariana? You could have fooled me.

  I turned up my nose, looking down at her the same way she looked d
own on me. “If you loved me, you’d help me get Cesar’s name cleared.”

  She splayed a hand across her chest. “Savannah, I-I....”

  “You what?” I spat. “You’re a selfish friend who lies to get out of trouble?”

  “Fine!” She stomped away. “I’ll see what I can do,” she said over her shoulder.

  That was code for her doing absolutely nothing. Cesar and I would have to clear his name ourselves, but since Angus and Sara were as stubborn as their daughter, I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

  Chapter Six

  Dinner with Irma was awkward. Since I didn’t need to speak privately with Jake, I couldn’t think of a reason why she couldn’t eat with us. Besides, she’d worked hard on a fabulous meal, so I could hardly tell her to get lost.

  She’d made spaghetti and meatballs, Jake’s new favorite food, and her sauce tasted better than any restaurant. Jake happily slurped noodles off his fork while Cesar and I ate in silence. Irma kept giving me sour looks when Jake asked a question, spilled sauce on his shirt, or put his elbows on the table. I guess she thought I should have been disciplining him. Good thing I was the one raising Jake.

  She made all kinds of huffing and puffing noises when I brought Jake to the kitchen for ice cream afterward. Maybe she thought he didn’t deserve it for acting like a seven-year-old at the dinner table. How dare he act his age!

  I scooped Jake’s ice cream and sat him at the breakfast table. Cesar came in and wrapped an arm around my waist, dipping a finger into the ice cream container.

  “Mmm,” he purred and stuck his finger in my mouth.

  I laughed, gently biting down on his finger and then elbowing him back. “Not here, Cesar.” The ice cream was refreshingly cool and sweet, but I had another dessert in mind.